Easy Is Not Our Style

Since my husband and I have started dating, we have dealt with my own eating disorder/depression and recovery, deployment, major life changes, jobs coming and going, debt, and having our first child. In 10 years, it seems as though we are always in the midst of some new mess. We would not be as strong as we are if not for our messy life. And now, we are navigating this messy life with a third little person that has added a whole new dynamic. We are sifting through the mess, and I am sharing our journey for those who also feel as though they are always a mess!

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Social Media: My Distracting Frenemey

SOCIAL MEDIA

Enough said, right? What else could a piece about distractions be about these days? The phone that is attached to me all the time. If my phone is in another room - ANXIETY!

Since becoming a parent, Facebook has been my Frenemy! I entered the world of babywearing, and then  found the babywearing Facebook groups, and then the babywearing off-topic groups, natural parenting groups, crunchy mom groups, breastfeeding groups...you see the trend. My sweet Facebook learned quickly what I was reading, and the recommended pages poured in! Suddenly my news feed, which was once just friends (people I actually know in real life), became full of babywearing selfies, useful information, crunchy mommy drama, and articles galore! I knew I had "liked" too many natural parenting pages when "Full Circle Placenta" (how to use your placenta in so many ways) came around. I looked at my own wall and I had become that obnoxious mommy who only posts about mommy things and my baby.

Now, I have learned A LOT from these groups and I think I am a better mom because of social media. There's so much wonderful information out there! I have also started writing again because of some of the pages I have found, specifically some very inspiring bloggers. With social media, communities and knowledge can so easily be found and shared with others. Don't get me wrong, I think this is GREAT thing. The problem is learning to navigate the information and balance my time.

I have also been a less attentive wife and mom because of social media. The problem comes when social media becomes an obsession, when so much time is spent drinking in endless streams of accessible information that we become dependent on that stream. A pause in my life, and I reach for my phone. What am I missing during that pause? Have I lost the ability to just be still for a moment with my thoughts? Life is happening while I am busy being distracted.

Ironically, it was Facebook that led me to the book Hands Free Mama: A Guide to Putting Down the Phone, Burning the To-Do List, and Letting Go of Perfection. Admittedly, I am one chapter in after  2 weeks. The book is broken down in to sections that can be read weekly with a "Weekly Intention." I was disappointed to discover this (I LOVE my quick fixes, and I'm accustomed to fast information!). The first "Weekly Intention" was limiting time with your device. My goal was to not use social media from the time I got home from work until bed time. I got BETTER and more aware about my phone time in the evening in the last two weeks. Since I don't like to do things that I am bad at (and I see not succeeded as failing), I haven't picked up the book again. But, it's TIME. When I realized that I was checking Facebook at stoplights, I knew there was a problem.

So, NEW GOALS (because we can ALWAYS start over)
 
  • No social media from the time I get home from work until the next morning. Evening and nights are family time (ya know, to put to work all that helpful stuff I read and share...)
  • No phone while in the car
Sounds easy enough, right? Well, now you all know my goals, it has to happen.


Hands Free Pledge

I'm becoming Hands-Free
I want to make memories, not to-do lists.
I want to feel the squeeze of my child's arm, not the pressure of overcommitment.
I want to get lost in conversation with the people I love, not consumed by a sea of unimportant emails.
I want to be overwhelmed by the sunsets that give me hope, not by overloaded agendas that steal my joy.
I want the noise of my life to be a mixture of laughter and
gratitude, not the intrusive buzz of cell phones and text messages.
I'm letting go of distraction, disconnection, and perfection
to live a life that simply, so very simply, consists of what
really matters.
I'm becoming Hands Free.

Rachel Macy Stafford, Hands Free Mama



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